Girl, Interrupted

I've been thinking, maybe the reason that I don’t mind talking to guys that are in relationships already is because I know that there isn't going to be anything really that's going to come from it. I know that they aren't going to leave the ones that they are with for me and even if they do I know that there will always be the possibility that they are going to leave me for someone else that comes along. It's as though I want all the perks of being in a relationship, but now with a single person and not with the title of the relationship. It still doesn't seem to make sense though. I always talk about how I want a relationship and I want someone that I can call my own, so why is it that I'm dealing with other people's significant others and turning down the ones that actually want to be with me? There is so much that I want out of life, but I'm so messed up that I don't know how to go about getting it. That perfect person for me could come along ...