Girl, Interrupted

It’s four in the morning and I’m still wide awake. Well, I guess the Bible was right, there’s no peace for the wicked. I guess I should consider that a sign. Consider that He sees my heart and although good lives there it isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to save me or to make me pure. It isn’t enough to allow me to pass over into righteousness. I guess that explains it all, I am the wicked. Explains the failed relationship after failed relationship. Explains why everything, everyone good in my life leaves or I ruin… or both. There is no peace for the wicked. Here I was thinking it was insomnia. Nope, just my wickedness keeping me awake in my most dreary moments. Forbidding me for resting because rest is a luxury of the righteous I suppose. Or could it be the righteous parts of me dueling with the wicked. Who will emerge the victor? Of that I am unsure, but if I heed the Bible’s word the answer is surely clear. 

Too much faith and trust in people. Sometimes, most times, that’s usually the issue. We give people things they don’t deserve and haven’t even began to earn. We allow people to feel as though they have power over us that they shouldn’t and bend to their will when we shouldn’t. Too many times we do this and go out of our way for individuals who wouldn’t even hold the door open for us or even say “Bless you” when you sneeze only to get nothing back in return, but the sound “I told you so” and “you’re foolish” whispered in the breeze. The universe’s way of reminding you of how naïve, gullible, and simply idiotic you were for believing that would have ended any other way. They say there’s someone out there for everyone, I’m starting to believe that’s just some fairy tale nonsense they tell people to make them feel less bad about themselves being lonely; spreading false hope to the masses. Just tell me there’s no one for me and that’s I’m destined to live life as a lone...