Girl, Interrupted

He saw her or rather he thought he did. That scared her the most. She feared he caught a glimpse of what was behind the door, the door she always kept closed and stood guarding, every time he seemed to get too close. She feared that one glimpse would spark his inquisition, cause him to want to peer further into the closet where her skeletons lay. She feared he'd open the door only for them to fall out onto him, consuming him whole. She feared once he saw all that she had hidden, when he had come face to face with her demons, when the last one had fallen and she cleared them away, he'd be gone.

Trust and vulnerability. These two things were here biggest issues. She had problems trusting because she found herself always trusting the wrong ones. Always letting in the ones she thought were true only to find they would betray her in the end. She was allowing herself to be open to and with individuals who neither saw nor cherished that she trusted them enough to tear down the walls she built, take off the mask she wore, and reveal to them the truth.... she was one of the most fragile of her maker's creations.

... and she reached out to him time and time again without success. Phone calls went unanswered. Text messages sent without reply. Facebook messages met with the message " This person isn't receiving messages from you right now." She couldn't take it anymore, the not knowing. She decided to try one last avenue of approach. She didn't know whether or not it would get the same attention as the others; none, but she felt it was worth the shot. She wouldn't know if she didn't try, so she tried. She titled the email, " Not Going Anywhere Until You Tell Me To..." I know you are dealing with a lot right now with the passing of your grandfather. I again am deeply sorry for your loss and my condolences go out to you and your family. I just need you to know that I am here if you need to talk to someone. I know what it's like to lose someone you care about. I also know what it's like to grieve. I also need you to know that I care about you ...